May God have mercy on my soul. Why did I ever buy this product, it even says “HADES” (ok, “hades”, but all caps is scarier) on the darn bottle. I noticed this thing was quite warm when I got it but America doesn’t really do the pre-heated drink thing like in Japan. I bought it and when I opened this thing flames shot of it, was seriously a massive fireball. I was in my home and the whole room was suddenly in flames. I quickly jumped out of the window and ran off as my home burnt down in flames. I looked and none of the liquid had spilled out of the bottle. There was smoke coming out of the bottle. Suddenly a ton, and I mean a ton, of military jets were flying over me like the sewer abortion army finally made their move. I looked on my phone and apparently every volcano in the world had erupted, and Hawaii was no more but a pile of useless igneous. With my hand shaking I looked at the bottle. “Friday, Saturday, Sunday”, all labeled as “1,100 Fahrenheit”; what the fuck did I just unleash on the Earth. For 3 days and 3 nights, the world was engulfed in fire, lava, and volcanic ash. The ash served as an additional atmosphere creating the most extreme greenhouse effect the world has ever seen. The polar icecaps melted and the world was flooded with boiling water. The air was steam. All life on Earth died. I was the only one left, I likely only survived because I had consumed a VitaminWater Ice prior to opening up this demonic spell. I am writing this review after I unknowingly unleashed this calamity on the world. This is my final journal so future civilizations from the stars will know what happened to our once fine planet. I am so sorry to everyone, may God bless America.

Or in other words, this was a good drink. I’ve noticed more and more brands/companies have been doing the “spicy fruit” thing common in Mexican snacks, basically a massive corporate cultural appropriation of one of my favorite flavor profiles. The drink is good though, the flavor profile is “spicy watermelon lime”. Basically, all I taste is the watermelon and the spicy, they might as well not even bothered including the lime because its nonexistent, maybe they didn’t even add it and just said they did. The drink isn’t really spicy at all, and its really quite absurd they even put “1,100 Fahrenheit” on the bottle. Its more of a flavor profile in the drink, like the flavors of some chili powder and other things you would associate with Mexican chamoy and the sort. It wasn’t spicy at all, but had the flavors you associate with spicy, and somehow would leave a mild heat. The watermelon flavor was quite good and went with it really well. All in all, this was a good drink and definitely worth buying at least once if you likely somewhat savory fruit flavored drinks.

I ended the world but it tasted good/10